While reading the new book by mental skills trainers Joshua Medcalf and Jamie Gilbert, I found many items valuable. One idea that rang true was the concept of controlling the controllables. This may seem like a simple idea (and I really think it is) but it is difficult to execute for many athletes AND coaches. Why is this? Well, I think it starts with many people who want to control everything about their game, about their team, or about a contest. The reality is that we can't control everything, and coming to grips with that idea can be scary. That's right...as much as we want, we cannot control everything that happens! :) 
Let's focus on some things we CAN control:

1. Your Commitments
What you do with your 86,400 seconds each day is up to you. Are the seconds you are using getting you closer or further away from what you want in life? You need to be committed to what is important to you. If developing your ball-handling is important, then you should spend a good deal of those seconds working on your handles. If understanding zone offense is important, then you should spend time researching and learning. 

2. Your Self-Talk
You can control how you talk to yourself. The question, "Would you hang out with someone who talked to you the way you talked to yourself?" is great to ask. If the answer is no, monitor your self talk and make sure it is positive more often than not. Even the worst situation can help you experience growth, so take advantage. If you miss a shot, say "I'm glad I missed that shot. It will make me focus more on my arc, because that last one was very flat." The flip-side (the evil side) would be to say "I suck. Why do I even play this game?." 

3. The Process
Whatever you are doing, there is a process involved. Your ability to focus on that process and block everything else out is essential. We were just talking to our elementary players today about the difference between a free throw in practice versus  one to win a state championship game. The answer? NOTHING. The process is still the same. The line doesn't change. The ball doesn't get bigger or heavier... the only thing that may change is your perception of the situation. However, if you focus on the process, and only the process, you relieve yourself of any pressure. 

One other little thing I have learned with this: As a basketball coach, you may watch an offensive possession and watch your team miss a shot. You may have another possession right after where your team misses another shot...and so on. You cannot get caught up in the fact that your players missed the shot. You should focus on the process. Did they work the offense to take a good shot? (that is a process). Did they take a shot that they can make? (that is a process). Did they use good shooting mechanics? (that is a process). If all those things happened, you, and they, have done things correctly. The process was spectacular. Teams won't make every shot. That is the reality. The job of coaches is to get players to work together to get the best shot possible and shoot it correctly. It is all a process, and you have to live with the results if the process was done well. 

Obviously, there are more items that can be controllable, but this is a start. Feel free to read Burn Your Goals and gather more intel on controllables like routine, communication, attitude, and body language. 

Whether we like it or not (or even know it or not for that matter) we have preconceived notions about our players or teammates that we bring to practices and games. If these subconscious thoughts are positive, that is great, but if they are negative, we actually are creating a larger problem: we are drawing that negativity out even more. So what do we do about it? Can we consciously control them? Actually yes, but it takes recognition and daily effort. Here is a step by step process to change your thinking:


Step 1
Identify your instinctive thoughts about your players or teammates. Simply write them down in the following format:


(Insert player name)  IS  (insert instinctive thought) 


Here is an example:
Sean is lazy. 
Bob is selfish. 
Jerry is timid. 
Larry is a leader.
John is hard-working.


These are your core beliefs about this player. Where you are a teammate or coach, you bring these thoughts with you into practice or games. Because our brains want to inherently prove us to be correct, subconsciously you will prove this to be true. It is just the way our mind works. Basically, if you think Sean is lazy, you will find things that prove to you that "Yep! See! I told you so! Sean is lazy!" If you have ever sat with other coaches or teammates and complained about a player, you were actually creating more of a problem: you were creating your vision of this person, and you were going to subconsciously prove it to be true. So then you probably noticed how lazy Sean was more and more. You see, what you focus on, you get more of. If you focus on how lazy Sean is, you will definitely find lazy actions. Plug in any of the players listed above: Bob being selfish, Jerry being timid, John working hard...it doesn't matter what the quality is. You will prove it to be true. 


So how can you change this? Well, a lot of it deals with changing your mindset about these people. Here comes step 2.

Step 2
Make a new list. 
However, this list has to be what you want the players to be like. 

Sean is HARD WORKING.
Bob is A TEAM-FIRST PLAYER. 
Jerry is CONFIDENT. 



I wish it was as easy as making the wish list and all would be great, but there is some work involved. You need to look at the list a couple times every day and not just read it, but visualize it happening and believe it. Remember, our brains don't know the difference between what is real and imagined (that is why visualization is so powerful). If you repeat to yourself that Sean works hard, and visualize it happening, you will probably notice Sean working harder, and you will change your mindset regarding him. You will probably not head into a practice only thinking about how lazy Sean is and how much that frustrates you. You will probably praise him more for his hard work which often grows more acts of hard work. In short, you will be looking for more positive traits rather than negative. 

Hey, wait! What should you do with the positive traits?
Larry is a leader.
John is hard-working.


Actually, you have a choice. You can leave those traits or maybe try to pull something even better out. It's up to you. 


The Final Step
3. Be consistent
If you really want to change your subconscious, you have to work at it. It doesn't take much time each day, but you will need to consistently work with the new list over time. It can be game-changing for your team. Keep in mind that coaching or being a good teammate is not just making a list and visualizing. A good coach will know how to communicate with players to bring out their best. A good teammate will do the same. 


Try it Out
If this seems a bit crazy, just try it with something else before you use it with your team. For example, if you have a student or co-worker that drives you crazy, write down why and make a new list:
Change "Doug is self-centered" to "Doug is caring" or "Doug actually cares about others." 
Instead of noticing instances when Doug is being self-centered, look for instances of Doug being caring. After a while, you will subconsciously notice Doug caring about others. How long will it take? I have no cookie-cutter answer for this. I DO know that I've used it, and after just making the list, I have become more conscious about my thoughts of others. After a few days, I notice many more positive traits. 


Final Thought
Remember, this technique is not going to magically change other people into what you want, but it will help. With this new consciously driven subconscious, you will be surprised what you start to notice about others. Remember, what you focus on, you get more of. You may head into practice with a more positive mindset about certain players, which will affect your team in countless ways. A shift in focus can drastically improve your reality.

After listening to Joshua Medcalf's presentation to a Missouri High School, many topics of discussion hit home. I plan to share a few ideas of the next few weeks. This week: What fuels your heart?
Ask yourself the following 5 questions:  
1. What television programs, films, and online content do you watch? 
2. What books, magazines, and online content do you read?
3. What music do you listen to?
4. Who do you surround yourself with? 
5. How do you talk to yourself? (especially when things go wrong)
All of these questions are linked to who we are as individuals. What we fuel ourselves with will directly relate to our ability to flourish in life. The challenge is to constantly monitor these areas and put the best possible fuel into our being. W

It has been scientifically proven that having a positive outlook is a key to success. Dr. Barbara Fredrickson has found that just by thinking positive thoughts, you open yourself up to be able to learn a skill much more efficiently...whether in the classroom or on a court/field. Next time you approach a big test or practice, think about 1 thing that made you smile or something you were proud of recently. That positive feeling will actually open you up to do better in your task.