Focus on Controllables
Let's focus on some things we CAN control:
1. Your Commitments
What you do with your 86,400 seconds each day is up to you. Are the seconds you are using getting you closer or further away from what you want in life? You need to be committed to what is important to you. If developing your ball-handling is important, then you should spend a good deal of those seconds working on your handles. If understanding zone offense is important, then you should spend time researching and learning.
2. Your Self-Talk
You can control how you talk to yourself. The question, "Would you hang out with someone who talked to you the way you talked to yourself?" is great to ask. If the answer is no, monitor your self talk and make sure it is positive more often than not. Even the worst situation can help you experience growth, so take advantage. If you miss a shot, say "I'm glad I missed that shot. It will make me focus more on my arc, because that last one was very flat." The flip-side (the evil side) would be to say "I suck. Why do I even play this game?."
3. The Process
Whatever you are doing, there is a process involved. Your ability to focus on that process and block everything else out is essential. We were just talking to our elementary players today about the difference between a free throw in practice versus one to win a state championship game. The answer? NOTHING. The process is still the same. The line doesn't change. The ball doesn't get bigger or heavier... the only thing that may change is your perception of the situation. However, if you focus on the process, and only the process, you relieve yourself of any pressure.
One other little thing I have learned with this: As a basketball coach, you may watch an offensive possession and watch your team miss a shot. You may have another possession right after where your team misses another shot...and so on. You cannot get caught up in the fact that your players missed the shot. You should focus on the process. Did they work the offense to take a good shot? (that is a process). Did they take a shot that they can make? (that is a process). Did they use good shooting mechanics? (that is a process). If all those things happened, you, and they, have done things correctly. The process was spectacular. Teams won't make every shot. That is the reality. The job of coaches is to get players to work together to get the best shot possible and shoot it correctly. It is all a process, and you have to live with the results if the process was done well.
Obviously, there are more items that can be controllable, but this is a start. Feel free to read Burn Your Goals and gather more intel on controllables like routine, communication, attitude, and body language.